I share so much of this perspective Silvio and wonder if that sense of "calling" - that there is one, and that we all have one - is built into the human spirit, or if it got inserted into my programming at some point by the culture I've been raised within? Do all cultures throughout time ascribe to the "calling" and "life purpose" belief? Either way, I now live with this conviction, like you, and I've always pursued it. But more and more over the years my purpose or "calling" translates more into a sense of inner being than an outward activity. As I age, I have more and more of a sense of the unique quality of "me" — feeling that my calling is to generously express and share — whether that's on stage, or in writing, or in conversation, or in intimacy, or parenting, etc. I really like that Charlie Parker quote that goes something like, "Sometimes it takes a long time to play like yourself." And like you I believe that a lot of life participation and feedback from the universe, especially in the form of other people, are a useful and necessary mirror for personal actualization. And I also agree that fear keeps us in check from doing more exploring, and fear makes the discovery of our very being more difficult than it needs to be. To me, that's tragic. I would say one of my own highest felt personal callings is the desire to help others take the risk of participating more in their life so that they can stumble on this essence of themselves sooner rather than later.
100%, Rick. Thank you for these reflections. "But more and more over the years my purpose or "calling" translates more into a sense of inner being than an outward activity." -- this is key, and it gets more so as the years go by. When we hear the words "true calling" we automatically tend to think of some activity to do, often a job. But it doesn't have to be like that. In fat, it's almost certain to me that it's not like that. And a sense of inner being is what ultimately determines and influences everything else. All we do in life originates from that sense of inner being. And that Coltrane's quote is just precious. And perfect in this context. Thank you for remind me of it. It's a never ending journey that gets us there asymptotically. Which in itself is an interesting notion, if you think about it. This continuous feeling of getting close but never being quite able to grab it, to say that we own it.
Yes, it is something that seems to reveal itself with age. Surrendering to never quite "getting there" becomes less of something to tolerate, and more of something to celebrate.
Can I stop writing whenever what you write triggers other thoughts, perhaps lateral and apparently not concerning what you are talking about? I think so, although this time actually the thought I had has more to do with your words. You identify a very interesting way to understand what our "true calling" is: doing things naturally and effortlessly.
Very interesting, I had never thought of that.
This theory exhilarated me and then threw me into despair: what thing can I do effortlessly? None. Which implies that I have not found my true calling, you might say.
But then it occurred to me that a possible true calling is also not finding answers. It could be, couldn't it? We strive to figure out what our mission in life is, and maybe our mission is ... not to have one. Maybe it's always to investigate. Or to be curious. Is there an end to curiosity? I don't think so. Here, maybe we have to do that, that seems to come easy to us.
something deeply intriguing about this perspective martino "that a possible true calling is also not finding answers." the capacity to stay with mystery, questions, and the unknown certainly has the mood of a calling to me.
Let's say we're not alone! I thought that if we can't find an answer it doesn't mean there is none but maybe it means our aim is to search, and never find. It's an aim in itself!
Interesting, Martino. Maybe, who knows? You know, there are people who need to believe that if they behave as good humans, they'll go to heaven. Otherwise, they'll burn in hell. In fact, many (still) believe in that. Probably more than we can fathom. My theory of life is what I myself need to believe to walk this Earth fearlessly and hopefully. At the end of the day, pick your theory of life and go through existence with the energy necessary to embark on this mega-process of trial and error. That's what everyone should do. Religions are generalized, packaged theories of life that many embrace to avoid coming up with something of their own, maybe because they think that coming up with something of their own is sinful or shameful or just plain wrong. I really don't know. What I do know is that this is my theory. Has it helped me go though life? Absolutely. Even though I haven't found my true calling. But that's ok. Maybe it's the journey we should really pay attention to, rather than the objective. In any event, I'm happy with my theory of life. I do believe we're born with something special, each of us. Well, we all look different, for one. Think about it for a second: eight billion people all looking different. And we all are different personality-wise. This is even more mind blowing, if you think about it for a second. So why shouldn't we all have a different "specialty"? It makes sense, doesn't it? And when I think of this specialty, the first feature that comes to mind is the effortlessness, the fact that our specialty comes natural to us (if only we knew how to find it). Like Kevin Kelly, I don't know of anyone who can be certain to have found their "specialty". I know people who are close. But then, they'd stop doing whatever that is on a whim, if they could. Which in and of itself is not a requisite of a "true calling". Not in my book, anyway. But I'm not worried about this, about the fact that I don't know anybody who can be certain to have found their true calling. After all, I don't know anybody who's been to heaven or hell or wherever else. :)
Wow, Silvio. There are so many nuggets and quotable pieces here. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what your true calling is either. What I do know is that you write with depth that demands reflection. You are a clear, deep majestic lake. We can't help but to stare deeply between the layers of blue and try to see what's at the bottom (inwards).
I try to reflect on what is that thing I would do more of as my reward (instead of money). And I'm not sure what that is. Not even writing. But I find peace in that. I think I'm so mentally exhausted from pondering existential questions non-stop for large parts of my life, that I'm finding relief in trying to be more present in my actions and my feelings instead. We'll see how that works out!
Camilo! These are such nice words and intriguing reflections. I like the "clear, deep majestic lake"; it's a beautiful parallel. Thank you so much. "I try to reflect on what is that thing I would do more of as my reward (instead of money). And I'm not sure what that is. Not even writing. But I find peace in that." -- I think this might be the asymptotical approach to something close to the idea I have in mind. Approaching, getting there. The idea of increments, something that evolves us. What they call purpose. You see it, you smell it, but you can't quite touch it, let alone grab it. But you keep walking towards it.
Great read Silvio, very thought-provoking. I agree with a lot of things said here, and would only add, or reaffirm, that it is probably a changing, evolving, not-only-one thing for some us. Or at least that's something we can tell to calm ourselves, the ones we haven't found it haha.
Meanwhile, the strategies you propose are definitely worth trying and keeping in mind.
Thank you so much, Oscar! I like the idea of calming down those of us who haven't found it by telling ourselves that story. :) At the end of the day, it's the same old notion of purpose that we don't know anything about but it's there, keeping us interested in walking this planet.
Beautifully written. I firmly believe when we get outside our heads and focus on others, purpose will emerge. I retired in 2017 from a career I loved. Now I was going to focus on volunteer work to find that new “purpose” not knowing what it was. But, I landed on helping homeless veterans and found an organization that does just this. 5 years into this effort I’ve now been asked to be on the Mayors Task Force to work on. Master plan for the city while still helping our veterans. I didn’t choose this passion, it kind of found me. And with my efforts and time investment it has blossomed to other things because of the skills I learned from my work career. Focus externally and purpose can find you.
Thank you, Stan. And thank you for sharing your experience. "I didn’t choose this passion, it kind of found me." -- I absolutely love this. Maybe this is the missing ingredient here: something so "ours" that sooner of later will find us, instead of the other way around. So glad you wrote this. Thank you! :)
This may be my new favorite Silvio piece. A beautiful exploration on the fundamental question of living. Perhaps we are not only human beings but human becomings?
Effortlessness and natural performance generally follow much effort and artificiality, so perhaps those criteria would be better applied to our predispositions or inclinations. Or the sheer joy or aliveness of the process, whatever that thing is. That Kevin Kelly question seems quite useful, and reminds me of this other query that would likely also provoke a rather short list of candidate activities: rather than the 4-hour work week, what could we consider doing 14 hours a day?
As I've certainly sat with the topic of purpose, something I've found useful to consider is it's less about the activity, though that is an important consideration, and more about the qualities one wishes to cultivate in our being that suffuses all our action with that fragrance. "How you do anything is how you do everything."
The psychospiritual aspect has been very dear to me as in order to be who we naturally and effortlessly are, to follow our true calling, we must be able to hear it. And then we must shed everything we are not: the layers of conditioning, fears, shame and guilt. All of the expectations of who we think we are and should be.
Totally spot on, Tai. As always. Thank you for these beautiful thoughts. "Perhaps we are not only human beings but human becomings?" -- damn, this is so powerful I'm going to print it out and glue it to my bedroom wall! I've re-read what you wrote here many times. And this is so refreshing: "The psychospiritual aspect has been very dear to me as in order to be who we naturally and effortlessly are, to follow our true calling, we must be able to hear it. And then we must shed everything we are not: the layers of conditioning, fears, shame and guilt. All of the expectations of who we think we are and should be." Man, thank you so much! :)
Silvio, I love your willingness to open and ask these questions. You always push me to understand what I actually think and why I think that. As I was reading this, I wondered why something that we do naturally and effortlessly is our true calling, and why our true calling must be natural and effortless.
Nothing I've ever done has started out being natural and effortless. Flying airplanes, leading men and women, writing, even parenting. All started out as work, and many of them continue to be work to this day. But the things that stopped being work, like flying or leading teams in business, felt dull, empty, boring. They didn't feel like they could be my true calling if I defined my true calling as that which I want to be my life's work. Or maybe I'm simply confusing terms.
For me, I need to take risks, stretch myself, and feel like I'm improving myself and serving others to find satisfaction and joy in what I do. And I think that may be a much better definition of my true calling.
See, one of the regularities I've always experienced when talking or even just thinking about this whole theory of life of mine is an almost magnetic attraction towards material activities, jobs, projects, things to do. And I myself tended to think in those terms innumerable times over the years. But then I came to the conclusion that a calling might just be a trait of our personalities that spontaneously serves as a key ingredient in something else. But hey, that's my theory of life, and I'm happy with it. By no means I expect this to be the truth (if anything like that even exists). Religions are theories of life, after all. Many embrace them faithfully, without asking questions, without daring to imagine a world of their own. I called it my theory of life, but I could have called it my religion. In a nutshell, a set of beliefs that help me carry on with a purpose. And all these years I've been thinking of it as something that may make sense: we're all different (all eight billions of us), so it wouldn't be too far fetched to imagine that every one of us had a specialty, a calling that made them unique and that can be of value to somebody else (not talking about mere monetary value here, of course). And that this specialty was natural, spontaneous, effortless. Something we're created for.
And the fact that I don't know anybody who can say they've found it makes me think that it's an unreachable state, something we can get close to but can never quite grab.
I'm glad I make you think, Latham. And you reciprocate this awesomely! :)
Silvio, as always congratulations! Very interesting. I would argue, though , that it is wonderful that we don’t know what we are good at, maybe is not only one calling as there are more. Think of Leonardo Da Vinci, he had many. Thanks god he didn’t follow only one.
I think that one of the greatest virtues of a human being is curiosity, our calling could be to use curiosity during our life. Curiosity brings joy and that feeling that you want more because curiosity is endless and any answer brings more questions or work as you defined the result of a true calling. So could it be that our true calling would be the decision either to follow and nurture our curiosity or not?
Oh, absolutely. It could be anything you want it to be. Ultimately, it has to be something that helps you go through life with a purpose. And as I wrote in a reply above, religions do provide a packaged and standardized version of a theory of life that many resolve to make theirs and follow. My theory of life is this, and I'm content with it. It's something that helps me a lot. Who knows whether it's plausible. But maybe that's not the point. Plausibleness maybe doesn't exist. If it helps you, that's all that matters.
I share so much of this perspective Silvio and wonder if that sense of "calling" - that there is one, and that we all have one - is built into the human spirit, or if it got inserted into my programming at some point by the culture I've been raised within? Do all cultures throughout time ascribe to the "calling" and "life purpose" belief? Either way, I now live with this conviction, like you, and I've always pursued it. But more and more over the years my purpose or "calling" translates more into a sense of inner being than an outward activity. As I age, I have more and more of a sense of the unique quality of "me" — feeling that my calling is to generously express and share — whether that's on stage, or in writing, or in conversation, or in intimacy, or parenting, etc. I really like that Charlie Parker quote that goes something like, "Sometimes it takes a long time to play like yourself." And like you I believe that a lot of life participation and feedback from the universe, especially in the form of other people, are a useful and necessary mirror for personal actualization. And I also agree that fear keeps us in check from doing more exploring, and fear makes the discovery of our very being more difficult than it needs to be. To me, that's tragic. I would say one of my own highest felt personal callings is the desire to help others take the risk of participating more in their life so that they can stumble on this essence of themselves sooner rather than later.
100%, Rick. Thank you for these reflections. "But more and more over the years my purpose or "calling" translates more into a sense of inner being than an outward activity." -- this is key, and it gets more so as the years go by. When we hear the words "true calling" we automatically tend to think of some activity to do, often a job. But it doesn't have to be like that. In fat, it's almost certain to me that it's not like that. And a sense of inner being is what ultimately determines and influences everything else. All we do in life originates from that sense of inner being. And that Coltrane's quote is just precious. And perfect in this context. Thank you for remind me of it. It's a never ending journey that gets us there asymptotically. Which in itself is an interesting notion, if you think about it. This continuous feeling of getting close but never being quite able to grab it, to say that we own it.
Yes, it is something that seems to reveal itself with age. Surrendering to never quite "getting there" becomes less of something to tolerate, and more of something to celebrate.
Can I stop writing whenever what you write triggers other thoughts, perhaps lateral and apparently not concerning what you are talking about? I think so, although this time actually the thought I had has more to do with your words. You identify a very interesting way to understand what our "true calling" is: doing things naturally and effortlessly.
Very interesting, I had never thought of that.
This theory exhilarated me and then threw me into despair: what thing can I do effortlessly? None. Which implies that I have not found my true calling, you might say.
But then it occurred to me that a possible true calling is also not finding answers. It could be, couldn't it? We strive to figure out what our mission in life is, and maybe our mission is ... not to have one. Maybe it's always to investigate. Or to be curious. Is there an end to curiosity? I don't think so. Here, maybe we have to do that, that seems to come easy to us.
something deeply intriguing about this perspective martino "that a possible true calling is also not finding answers." the capacity to stay with mystery, questions, and the unknown certainly has the mood of a calling to me.
Let's say we're not alone! I thought that if we can't find an answer it doesn't mean there is none but maybe it means our aim is to search, and never find. It's an aim in itself!
Interesting, Martino. Maybe, who knows? You know, there are people who need to believe that if they behave as good humans, they'll go to heaven. Otherwise, they'll burn in hell. In fact, many (still) believe in that. Probably more than we can fathom. My theory of life is what I myself need to believe to walk this Earth fearlessly and hopefully. At the end of the day, pick your theory of life and go through existence with the energy necessary to embark on this mega-process of trial and error. That's what everyone should do. Religions are generalized, packaged theories of life that many embrace to avoid coming up with something of their own, maybe because they think that coming up with something of their own is sinful or shameful or just plain wrong. I really don't know. What I do know is that this is my theory. Has it helped me go though life? Absolutely. Even though I haven't found my true calling. But that's ok. Maybe it's the journey we should really pay attention to, rather than the objective. In any event, I'm happy with my theory of life. I do believe we're born with something special, each of us. Well, we all look different, for one. Think about it for a second: eight billion people all looking different. And we all are different personality-wise. This is even more mind blowing, if you think about it for a second. So why shouldn't we all have a different "specialty"? It makes sense, doesn't it? And when I think of this specialty, the first feature that comes to mind is the effortlessness, the fact that our specialty comes natural to us (if only we knew how to find it). Like Kevin Kelly, I don't know of anyone who can be certain to have found their "specialty". I know people who are close. But then, they'd stop doing whatever that is on a whim, if they could. Which in and of itself is not a requisite of a "true calling". Not in my book, anyway. But I'm not worried about this, about the fact that I don't know anybody who can be certain to have found their true calling. After all, I don't know anybody who's been to heaven or hell or wherever else. :)
Wow, Silvio. There are so many nuggets and quotable pieces here. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what your true calling is either. What I do know is that you write with depth that demands reflection. You are a clear, deep majestic lake. We can't help but to stare deeply between the layers of blue and try to see what's at the bottom (inwards).
I try to reflect on what is that thing I would do more of as my reward (instead of money). And I'm not sure what that is. Not even writing. But I find peace in that. I think I'm so mentally exhausted from pondering existential questions non-stop for large parts of my life, that I'm finding relief in trying to be more present in my actions and my feelings instead. We'll see how that works out!
Camilo! These are such nice words and intriguing reflections. I like the "clear, deep majestic lake"; it's a beautiful parallel. Thank you so much. "I try to reflect on what is that thing I would do more of as my reward (instead of money). And I'm not sure what that is. Not even writing. But I find peace in that." -- I think this might be the asymptotical approach to something close to the idea I have in mind. Approaching, getting there. The idea of increments, something that evolves us. What they call purpose. You see it, you smell it, but you can't quite touch it, let alone grab it. But you keep walking towards it.
Great read Silvio, very thought-provoking. I agree with a lot of things said here, and would only add, or reaffirm, that it is probably a changing, evolving, not-only-one thing for some us. Or at least that's something we can tell to calm ourselves, the ones we haven't found it haha.
Meanwhile, the strategies you propose are definitely worth trying and keeping in mind.
Thank you for touching on this!
Thank you so much, Oscar! I like the idea of calming down those of us who haven't found it by telling ourselves that story. :) At the end of the day, it's the same old notion of purpose that we don't know anything about but it's there, keeping us interested in walking this planet.
Beautifully written. I firmly believe when we get outside our heads and focus on others, purpose will emerge. I retired in 2017 from a career I loved. Now I was going to focus on volunteer work to find that new “purpose” not knowing what it was. But, I landed on helping homeless veterans and found an organization that does just this. 5 years into this effort I’ve now been asked to be on the Mayors Task Force to work on. Master plan for the city while still helping our veterans. I didn’t choose this passion, it kind of found me. And with my efforts and time investment it has blossomed to other things because of the skills I learned from my work career. Focus externally and purpose can find you.
Thank you, Stan. And thank you for sharing your experience. "I didn’t choose this passion, it kind of found me." -- I absolutely love this. Maybe this is the missing ingredient here: something so "ours" that sooner of later will find us, instead of the other way around. So glad you wrote this. Thank you! :)
This may be my new favorite Silvio piece. A beautiful exploration on the fundamental question of living. Perhaps we are not only human beings but human becomings?
Effortlessness and natural performance generally follow much effort and artificiality, so perhaps those criteria would be better applied to our predispositions or inclinations. Or the sheer joy or aliveness of the process, whatever that thing is. That Kevin Kelly question seems quite useful, and reminds me of this other query that would likely also provoke a rather short list of candidate activities: rather than the 4-hour work week, what could we consider doing 14 hours a day?
As I've certainly sat with the topic of purpose, something I've found useful to consider is it's less about the activity, though that is an important consideration, and more about the qualities one wishes to cultivate in our being that suffuses all our action with that fragrance. "How you do anything is how you do everything."
The psychospiritual aspect has been very dear to me as in order to be who we naturally and effortlessly are, to follow our true calling, we must be able to hear it. And then we must shed everything we are not: the layers of conditioning, fears, shame and guilt. All of the expectations of who we think we are and should be.
Totally spot on, Tai. As always. Thank you for these beautiful thoughts. "Perhaps we are not only human beings but human becomings?" -- damn, this is so powerful I'm going to print it out and glue it to my bedroom wall! I've re-read what you wrote here many times. And this is so refreshing: "The psychospiritual aspect has been very dear to me as in order to be who we naturally and effortlessly are, to follow our true calling, we must be able to hear it. And then we must shed everything we are not: the layers of conditioning, fears, shame and guilt. All of the expectations of who we think we are and should be." Man, thank you so much! :)
Silvio, I love your willingness to open and ask these questions. You always push me to understand what I actually think and why I think that. As I was reading this, I wondered why something that we do naturally and effortlessly is our true calling, and why our true calling must be natural and effortless.
Nothing I've ever done has started out being natural and effortless. Flying airplanes, leading men and women, writing, even parenting. All started out as work, and many of them continue to be work to this day. But the things that stopped being work, like flying or leading teams in business, felt dull, empty, boring. They didn't feel like they could be my true calling if I defined my true calling as that which I want to be my life's work. Or maybe I'm simply confusing terms.
For me, I need to take risks, stretch myself, and feel like I'm improving myself and serving others to find satisfaction and joy in what I do. And I think that may be a much better definition of my true calling.
See, one of the regularities I've always experienced when talking or even just thinking about this whole theory of life of mine is an almost magnetic attraction towards material activities, jobs, projects, things to do. And I myself tended to think in those terms innumerable times over the years. But then I came to the conclusion that a calling might just be a trait of our personalities that spontaneously serves as a key ingredient in something else. But hey, that's my theory of life, and I'm happy with it. By no means I expect this to be the truth (if anything like that even exists). Religions are theories of life, after all. Many embrace them faithfully, without asking questions, without daring to imagine a world of their own. I called it my theory of life, but I could have called it my religion. In a nutshell, a set of beliefs that help me carry on with a purpose. And all these years I've been thinking of it as something that may make sense: we're all different (all eight billions of us), so it wouldn't be too far fetched to imagine that every one of us had a specialty, a calling that made them unique and that can be of value to somebody else (not talking about mere monetary value here, of course). And that this specialty was natural, spontaneous, effortless. Something we're created for.
And the fact that I don't know anybody who can say they've found it makes me think that it's an unreachable state, something we can get close to but can never quite grab.
I'm glad I make you think, Latham. And you reciprocate this awesomely! :)
Thank for your reflections.
Silvio, as always congratulations! Very interesting. I would argue, though , that it is wonderful that we don’t know what we are good at, maybe is not only one calling as there are more. Think of Leonardo Da Vinci, he had many. Thanks god he didn’t follow only one.
I think that one of the greatest virtues of a human being is curiosity, our calling could be to use curiosity during our life. Curiosity brings joy and that feeling that you want more because curiosity is endless and any answer brings more questions or work as you defined the result of a true calling. So could it be that our true calling would be the decision either to follow and nurture our curiosity or not?
Oh, absolutely. It could be anything you want it to be. Ultimately, it has to be something that helps you go through life with a purpose. And as I wrote in a reply above, religions do provide a packaged and standardized version of a theory of life that many resolve to make theirs and follow. My theory of life is this, and I'm content with it. It's something that helps me a lot. Who knows whether it's plausible. But maybe that's not the point. Plausibleness maybe doesn't exist. If it helps you, that's all that matters.