Wednesday, February 19th, 2025. She hung up on me, suddenly, while I was in the middle of one of my rare arguments, as I don’t like to argue, not because I don’t think I’d be effective, although there might be a little of that component too, but because I don’t believe in making others change their minds, I don’t believe in persuasion, and I think it’s true what Frank Zappa once said, I forget where I read or heard it, that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you, that you don’t change people’s minds, that they change them themselves, if and when they’re ready and want to, at their own pace, certainly not because you have convinced them to, and I believe this is one of those evident, straightforward things about us humans that we often overlook, as we don’t like simple stuff, we are atavistically attracted to complexity, because everything in our existence has to be a battle against something, and complexity ignites a battle against ourselves, the kind of battle we like the most, and so anyway, she hung up on me, and I went on speaking another minute or two, until I realized that my words were being uttered into a closed line, to no one on the other end, and I interrupted what I was saying abruptly, like that, mid-sentence or mid-word, without thinking, and placed my phone on the table, and I thought how funny it is when we immediately stop talking the moment we realize no one’s listening, as if the voice were only an instrument to communicate with others and not something we can use ourselves in isolation, just for the sake of hearing it or reinforcing a thought that until then had been only in a gaseous state and now it’s in a solid state or some other different state, metaphorically solid, of course, as words cannot be touched, meaning that, to make itself ready to leave the body and mouth, the thought underwent a process of physical transformation, a metamorphosis, a mutation, and so she hung up on me, I was saying, and I don't even remember what we were arguing about, but it must have been something important, or maybe not that important but something she wanted to be right about, something she needed to be right about, many people I know are like that, a category unto themselves, the category of those who have a visceral necessity, not a desire but a necessity, to be right, to win arguments, to demolish their interlocutor’s point of view, and no matter the subject, that's almost irrelevant, in fact it could be the most trivial subject, like whether one should have the toilet paper hanging from the front or from behind the roll, for example, and in so doing they employ the most Machiavellian strategies, like in those stupid Hollywood films where the good guys, in order to catch one villain, kill thousands of others that were so unlucky to be walking by as the chase sweeps past, and damage roads, ruin stores, smash other cars, destroy buildings, all because the end justifies the means, what a preposterous idea, sure, you might argue, it’s preposterous until it involves your children, and you’d have a point, but what I’m trying to say is that she hung up on me because, unlike most times, when I usually cave, more to end the argument quickly than anything else, this time I kept arguing, I couldn’t give it to her, not this time, and then I put my coat on, slammed the door behind me, and went for a walk to clear my head, and as I walked, my thoughts drifted back to the first time I met her, that warm spring afternoon on the terrace of a cafe, I couldn’t remember which one, but it was near Arco della Pace, in via Mario Pagano perhaps, I was at a table by myself reading a book, a novel by Modiano,
I couldn’t agree more with Frank Zappa! My philosophy is ‘live & let live’!
Also, I feel that one does not need an audience when speaking! I talk to myself, and I think it’s a matter of self expression, akin to keeping a private journal. Plus, no one plagues you with their efforts to convince you to see things ‘their way’!!
I enjoyed this, in a masochistic, letting it wash over me kind of way. The line:
"until I realized that my words were being uttered into a closed line, to no one on the other end"
reminded me of the time I was talking to my then-girlfriend and she started snoring. I should have taken that as a portent of things to come (we made arrangements to meet, and she didn't turn up; I didn't care).
In view of your apparent antagonism to full stops (periods), I believe you will find this course on punctuation useful:
On a serious note, I really like the concept of diaries interrupted.
" it’ll never happen, not in my lifetime or those waiters’ lifetimes or my kids’ or grandkids’ lifetimes": I disagree.
"illusory superiority": I see this every day in some context or other, in the sense of some people thinking they are superior to others in some regard. One tries to ignore them.
Thanks so much, Terry! Your comments are always so interesting, and I love how you often share a personal story along with them—this one about your then-girlfriend snoring on the phone almost killed me lol. Also, that course on punctuation? I'm ready to take it! (At my own pace, of course). :)
PS: I hope you're right on the "it'll never happen etc."
Great philosophical prose. Pessimistic though. But yeah you can't change anyone mind. You can coerce them into saying what you want but you can't actually convince them of anything. They convince themselves using their words in the or own voice at best.
It took me a few lines to realize what “in one gulp of air” meant. That was two BIG gulps of air Silvio haha. It’s like in yoga, where the teacher instructs you to inhale, and when you’re just about to exhale, the teacher says to hold your breath. And you wait, and wait, and wait and wait to be released… and still wait….. It’s a bit too much to hold for that long, a bit dizzying, a bit suffocating, a bit annoying perhaps, because no one can possibly hold their breath for that long, but once you finally let your breath out, you feel the blood circulating again and you feel like your built-up malaise unclogged. There is a reward for the patience :)
Haha, Jisoo! You're right -- it’s a bit tough to get through them without breathing. But I’m glad to hear the reward for patience (and effort) was worth it. :) Thank you so much!
So good!!! Loved them both. Favorite bits were: the Frank Zappa quote, “how funny it is when we immediately stop talking the moment we realize no one’s listening” (so true), the description of a ‘relevatory earthquake’. You have a way with your writing! I always find inspiration in you. 💛
Thank you so much, Nathan! There's a ton of Bolaño in this, as you rightly pointed out. I've noticed it seeps into my prose involuntarily, almost like osmosis. Your approval of this new series means a lot, my friend. :)
Hauntingly beautiful, Silvio. And that last line!!
I knew you'd notice that one, Kate. I just did. Thank you so much!
Aha :) well, it’s excellent.
I couldn’t agree more with Frank Zappa! My philosophy is ‘live & let live’!
Also, I feel that one does not need an audience when speaking! I talk to myself, and I think it’s a matter of self expression, akin to keeping a private journal. Plus, no one plagues you with their efforts to convince you to see things ‘their way’!!
Very enjoyable read, Silvio!
Glad to see it resonated, Rose! We're totally in sync. Thanks so much!
I enjoyed this, in a masochistic, letting it wash over me kind of way. The line:
"until I realized that my words were being uttered into a closed line, to no one on the other end"
reminded me of the time I was talking to my then-girlfriend and she started snoring. I should have taken that as a portent of things to come (we made arrangements to meet, and she didn't turn up; I didn't care).
In view of your apparent antagonism to full stops (periods), I believe you will find this course on punctuation useful:
https://www.citylit.ac.uk/courses/workplace-communication-with-digital-skills-english-for-the-office-and-business-intermediate-level-1-level-2
Chortle! 🤣
On a serious note, I really like the concept of diaries interrupted.
" it’ll never happen, not in my lifetime or those waiters’ lifetimes or my kids’ or grandkids’ lifetimes": I disagree.
"illusory superiority": I see this every day in some context or other, in the sense of some people thinking they are superior to others in some regard. One tries to ignore them.
Thanks so much, Terry! Your comments are always so interesting, and I love how you often share a personal story along with them—this one about your then-girlfriend snoring on the phone almost killed me lol. Also, that course on punctuation? I'm ready to take it! (At my own pace, of course). :)
PS: I hope you're right on the "it'll never happen etc."
😂
Your cadence is YOU, And frankly, Zappa has a point.
He does. I'm a big fan, always have been. Thank you so much, Jill!
Great philosophical prose. Pessimistic though. But yeah you can't change anyone mind. You can coerce them into saying what you want but you can't actually convince them of anything. They convince themselves using their words in the or own voice at best.
Precisely. Thank you so much!
It took me a few lines to realize what “in one gulp of air” meant. That was two BIG gulps of air Silvio haha. It’s like in yoga, where the teacher instructs you to inhale, and when you’re just about to exhale, the teacher says to hold your breath. And you wait, and wait, and wait and wait to be released… and still wait….. It’s a bit too much to hold for that long, a bit dizzying, a bit suffocating, a bit annoying perhaps, because no one can possibly hold their breath for that long, but once you finally let your breath out, you feel the blood circulating again and you feel like your built-up malaise unclogged. There is a reward for the patience :)
Haha, Jisoo! You're right -- it’s a bit tough to get through them without breathing. But I’m glad to hear the reward for patience (and effort) was worth it. :) Thank you so much!
So good!!! Loved them both. Favorite bits were: the Frank Zappa quote, “how funny it is when we immediately stop talking the moment we realize no one’s listening” (so true), the description of a ‘relevatory earthquake’. You have a way with your writing! I always find inspiration in you. 💛
Thank you so much, Sammie! Glad you liked them. :)
Having been engulfing more and more Bolaño these last few days, I am sooo in on this, Silvio.
Immense, rapid, absolutely blinding in intensity and wit.
The lead up to the green light comment was one of my favourite moments in all your work I have read.
More please. More.
Thank you so much, Nathan! There's a ton of Bolaño in this, as you rightly pointed out. I've noticed it seeps into my prose involuntarily, almost like osmosis. Your approval of this new series means a lot, my friend. :)
LOL Van, yes! Thank you so much!