My son and I have been playing chess for about two years and I expected he'd eventually start beating me, but somehow I managed to stay ahead of his development, and it was very frustrating for him. I was in a quandary about what to do, because it seemed like maybe I might just always be better than him, which is not the heart-wish of most fathers for their kids. But that day recently came, and it was shocking how quickly the scales tipped in favor of his skills. Now his brain is working in a way that I simply cannot keep up with, and I rarely win against his competency on the chess board. It's a gift as a father, especially someone like me who is competitive and likes to win, to experience joy at being beaten. It's a glorious day when your children's competencies exceed your own.
(Just thought I'd share in response to the generous and delightful mood of your reflections Silvio.)
Thank you, Rick, for sharing this reflection. Incidentally, I too am a chess player and find high enjoyment in the complexities and intricacies of the game. So I totally understand your quandary, which has also been mine, some time back. I managed to get my son interested in chess to the point he would ask me to play all the time. I never "helped" him win anything; there's nothing better than playing stronger players (yes, including dads lol) and learn from defeats and experience in chess, I believe. He then grew out of it, a little, but remained interested (not as an obsession -- which used to be my case -- but as something he likes to do from time to time). Today's teenagers have so many more things they're stimulated by than we did at their age. Anyway, I absolutely loved your thought on experiencing joy at being beaten as a gift for a father. This is so true. Again, thank you for sharing. This is beautiful.
Thank you Silvio for your kind and generous reply. I felt some regret after posting my comment that it was an invasive use of your comment section to tell my own personal story, but I decided I trust you and our friendship enough that you'd take it in the spirit intended—with the desire to honor the beauty of your writing style by attempting to fall in step with it and try it on myself.
More and more I realize how I can enjoy a piece of writing even if it's disjointed and seemingly unconnected. Haven't made sense of why, but it's interesting.
This was great Silvio! One was deep, and will have to go back myself often to ponder on it. One answer I immediately got was, "does there have to be a next?", as in, if we're always striving to be happy, and do get there, maybe you can just stay there.
And completely agree with Three, that's what I do with Italian books, not understanding every single word, but go with the flow. And it's marvelous...
Thank you, Oscar! I would completely agree with you if I didn't believe in the ephemerality of happiness. One minute it's there, another it's not. I wish it were a state that, once attained, you'd keep forever. :) Also, Italian books. That's awesome!
Thank you, CansaFis! Indeed, I too like to think in these terms. Another chance at it is actually a beautiful way of putting it. I wish it were possible (or easier) to catch happiness in the act, instead of in retrospect. :)
Number Two. Visiting with me right now. Still twirling. Never disappointed by your words, Silvio. And number one is now resident in my brain. The first time i visited this concept was when I went to see "Into the Woods" off Broadway (when it was in its testing phase). The first half was great. Then I got to the second half. And the concept of what happens after the "happily ever after" Hollywood ending. You will see the influence of that in much of my writing.
Thank you so much, Karena, for your support and reflections. "Still twirling" -- LOL, love this! I haven't seen "Into the Woods" (yet), but now you got me intrigued. I'm so bad at keeping up with films...
I love these bite sized reflections Silvio! And ai enjoy continuing to see the parallels in our lives. I also learned some French and mostly lost it all. I am also a notorious hair twirler.
Five
My son and I have been playing chess for about two years and I expected he'd eventually start beating me, but somehow I managed to stay ahead of his development, and it was very frustrating for him. I was in a quandary about what to do, because it seemed like maybe I might just always be better than him, which is not the heart-wish of most fathers for their kids. But that day recently came, and it was shocking how quickly the scales tipped in favor of his skills. Now his brain is working in a way that I simply cannot keep up with, and I rarely win against his competency on the chess board. It's a gift as a father, especially someone like me who is competitive and likes to win, to experience joy at being beaten. It's a glorious day when your children's competencies exceed your own.
(Just thought I'd share in response to the generous and delightful mood of your reflections Silvio.)
Thank you, Rick, for sharing this reflection. Incidentally, I too am a chess player and find high enjoyment in the complexities and intricacies of the game. So I totally understand your quandary, which has also been mine, some time back. I managed to get my son interested in chess to the point he would ask me to play all the time. I never "helped" him win anything; there's nothing better than playing stronger players (yes, including dads lol) and learn from defeats and experience in chess, I believe. He then grew out of it, a little, but remained interested (not as an obsession -- which used to be my case -- but as something he likes to do from time to time). Today's teenagers have so many more things they're stimulated by than we did at their age. Anyway, I absolutely loved your thought on experiencing joy at being beaten as a gift for a father. This is so true. Again, thank you for sharing. This is beautiful.
Thank you Silvio for your kind and generous reply. I felt some regret after posting my comment that it was an invasive use of your comment section to tell my own personal story, but I decided I trust you and our friendship enough that you'd take it in the spirit intended—with the desire to honor the beauty of your writing style by attempting to fall in step with it and try it on myself.
Absolutely, Rick. I appreciate you for sharing your personal story in my comments. It's truly an honor, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Beautiful collection of vignettes Silvio (:
I’m trying to lace them together but maybe they don’t need to be connected at all...
Thank you, Tommy. No, they are unrelated. Although there might be a common thread. Not easy though. :)
More and more I realize how I can enjoy a piece of writing even if it's disjointed and seemingly unconnected. Haven't made sense of why, but it's interesting.
This was great Silvio! One was deep, and will have to go back myself often to ponder on it. One answer I immediately got was, "does there have to be a next?", as in, if we're always striving to be happy, and do get there, maybe you can just stay there.
And completely agree with Three, that's what I do with Italian books, not understanding every single word, but go with the flow. And it's marvelous...
Thank you, Oscar! I would completely agree with you if I didn't believe in the ephemerality of happiness. One minute it's there, another it's not. I wish it were a state that, once attained, you'd keep forever. :) Also, Italian books. That's awesome!
...can't pick faves just enjoyed all four of these vignettes...what comes after happiness?...hopefully another chance at it...
Thank you, CansaFis! Indeed, I too like to think in these terms. Another chance at it is actually a beautiful way of putting it. I wish it were possible (or easier) to catch happiness in the act, instead of in retrospect. :)
Number Two. Visiting with me right now. Still twirling. Never disappointed by your words, Silvio. And number one is now resident in my brain. The first time i visited this concept was when I went to see "Into the Woods" off Broadway (when it was in its testing phase). The first half was great. Then I got to the second half. And the concept of what happens after the "happily ever after" Hollywood ending. You will see the influence of that in much of my writing.
Thank you so much, Karena, for your support and reflections. "Still twirling" -- LOL, love this! I haven't seen "Into the Woods" (yet), but now you got me intrigued. I'm so bad at keeping up with films...
I love these bite sized reflections Silvio! And ai enjoy continuing to see the parallels in our lives. I also learned some French and mostly lost it all. I am also a notorious hair twirler.
Love these vignettes into your life.
Thank you, Camilo! Join the hair twirler club! I'm so looking forward to your return to Milan so we can talk about all these similarities. :)