May 11, 2023·edited May 11, 2023Liked by Silvio Castelletti
Very interesting, Silvio. You're starting to remind me of Montaigne (I can't offer higher praise, at least yet).
I was fortunate when I was a teenager to have a family friend who had been an All-American basketballl player (he was of average height) write out in his own handwriting and give me this quote from the American President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
Also, William Burroughs obviously never read Ulysses by James Joyce, which is all about what Burroughs calls the "subvocal" stream of thought (or consciousness).
I have a feeling, though, that even if you had read the Coolidge quote at a tender age your life would have bloomed in essentially the same way. I think deep inside you are a disillusioned idealist--but an idealist first and foremost. And in this corrupt world of ours you would have repeatedly found no alternative consistent with your integrity but to walk away, as you did.
If you haven't read Melville's short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" you may want to have a look.
I love this piece so much, Silvio. I’ve bookmarked it so I can return to it when I need it again. It deeply resonated with me. Especially this part:
“Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons.”
“When I started writing regularly, things about myself that I ignored would appear on the page like invisible ink.” I recently told my brother that writing regularly is helping me process my feelings, which helps me see my life more clearly. I’m sitting with the Burroughs quote, too. Whew. In sharpening our senses and ourselves we certainly become wiser--but what to do with it, indeed.
"When I write, fear vanishes and I’m happy to accept a certain me that in other circumstances I’d run away from, or infinitely postpone confronting." This is so close to my experience, but I wouldn't say fear vanishes, but it recedes into its appropriate place, still fear, but no longer a looming monster, almost tamed in the presence of my witness. I always feel like readers are doing me a service of helping put all these fears in perspective, something about the generosity of others watching over my shoulder as I admit these fears and shortcomings helps to place them in the context of workable humanness instead of disabling anxiety or shame. The Burroughs quote is an absolute show stopper, and I'm with you on how anyone hearing those words could blithely carry on as though they hadn't been spoken.
Silvio, first off I am always in wonder at your connection to music. I find myself longing for that kind of grounding in my own life, as Ive shed so many identities and personalities along the way.
"Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons."
I both loved this and think you're selling us short. Sure, the true test comes in darkness, but so does the awareness and celebration of beauty. I've read enough of your writing to see the flourishes of beauty that haven't come from having everything handed to you, but from holding yourself up to the darkness and declaring that you will not back down. Your story, for all the pain and harsh inner dialogue, is lovely in its humanity.
As woo as this sounds, meditation (in concert with a coach/partner/guide) has helped me to be a lot more supportive of my inner dialogue. By simply recognizing the space between my thoughts, I find that I have more clarity when my Self appears on the page. I never understood or enjoyed meditation before this, but much like writing, it's helping me to lead a more aligned life. Not that I recommend you try anything you're not ready to, but it's another data point in your tapestry of a beautiful life.
Friend, you speak to my condition! ❤️ I don't like mentioning my newsletter on other people's newsletters, but this so perfectly captures my ethos and what I'm trying to do...like, I think this self-confrontation is my superpower and I want to write about it and provide some kind of terrain map to make it less scary for other people, maybe.
It is such a pleasure to read something with this much resonance, I look forward to more!
Really love this! Restacked the section with the quote about "invisible ink." I also love that you ended with song lyrics. I just published my first post this week - and plan to incorporate a lot of my favorite music into my writing as well.
Silvio, you have to tell me if you got inspiration of the title from Kramer vs Kramer? It reminded me of the movie where Dustin Hoffman's character goes on an unexpected trial of fire to gain more self-awareness. Also the will power to just stay there and pull through. I can testify that showing up and always be there when things happen is 90% of the battle. I've never been an introspective person to begin with (but I'm always told that I have self-awarenes, so...I don't know ROFL), so I appreciate reading you and Rachael and other folks to get inner perspective. Another banger piece, needless to say!
This is right after listening (actually) this superb piece. So many things but this one is right on point: this afternoon I wss walking and listening to some music and skipping many tracks. Until The Boston Rag was spinning and I thought “Let me listening to it” and so it went. So, Steely Dan, please keep on telling me things I cannot confess to myself, about myself.
So fascinating, each and every time Silvio. Thank you.
Very interesting, Silvio. You're starting to remind me of Montaigne (I can't offer higher praise, at least yet).
I was fortunate when I was a teenager to have a family friend who had been an All-American basketballl player (he was of average height) write out in his own handwriting and give me this quote from the American President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
Also, William Burroughs obviously never read Ulysses by James Joyce, which is all about what Burroughs calls the "subvocal" stream of thought (or consciousness).
I have a feeling, though, that even if you had read the Coolidge quote at a tender age your life would have bloomed in essentially the same way. I think deep inside you are a disillusioned idealist--but an idealist first and foremost. And in this corrupt world of ours you would have repeatedly found no alternative consistent with your integrity but to walk away, as you did.
If you haven't read Melville's short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" you may want to have a look.
Very best, as always
Chris
I love this piece so much, Silvio. I’ve bookmarked it so I can return to it when I need it again. It deeply resonated with me. Especially this part:
“Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons.”
“When I started writing regularly, things about myself that I ignored would appear on the page like invisible ink.” I recently told my brother that writing regularly is helping me process my feelings, which helps me see my life more clearly. I’m sitting with the Burroughs quote, too. Whew. In sharpening our senses and ourselves we certainly become wiser--but what to do with it, indeed.
Beautiful essay. I can confirm that writing has been one of the most therapuetic exercises Ive done. Seems like its working its magic on you too :)
"When I write, fear vanishes and I’m happy to accept a certain me that in other circumstances I’d run away from, or infinitely postpone confronting." This is so close to my experience, but I wouldn't say fear vanishes, but it recedes into its appropriate place, still fear, but no longer a looming monster, almost tamed in the presence of my witness. I always feel like readers are doing me a service of helping put all these fears in perspective, something about the generosity of others watching over my shoulder as I admit these fears and shortcomings helps to place them in the context of workable humanness instead of disabling anxiety or shame. The Burroughs quote is an absolute show stopper, and I'm with you on how anyone hearing those words could blithely carry on as though they hadn't been spoken.
Silvio, first off I am always in wonder at your connection to music. I find myself longing for that kind of grounding in my own life, as Ive shed so many identities and personalities along the way.
"Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons."
I both loved this and think you're selling us short. Sure, the true test comes in darkness, but so does the awareness and celebration of beauty. I've read enough of your writing to see the flourishes of beauty that haven't come from having everything handed to you, but from holding yourself up to the darkness and declaring that you will not back down. Your story, for all the pain and harsh inner dialogue, is lovely in its humanity.
As woo as this sounds, meditation (in concert with a coach/partner/guide) has helped me to be a lot more supportive of my inner dialogue. By simply recognizing the space between my thoughts, I find that I have more clarity when my Self appears on the page. I never understood or enjoyed meditation before this, but much like writing, it's helping me to lead a more aligned life. Not that I recommend you try anything you're not ready to, but it's another data point in your tapestry of a beautiful life.
Friend, you speak to my condition! ❤️ I don't like mentioning my newsletter on other people's newsletters, but this so perfectly captures my ethos and what I'm trying to do...like, I think this self-confrontation is my superpower and I want to write about it and provide some kind of terrain map to make it less scary for other people, maybe.
It is such a pleasure to read something with this much resonance, I look forward to more!
Really love this! Restacked the section with the quote about "invisible ink." I also love that you ended with song lyrics. I just published my first post this week - and plan to incorporate a lot of my favorite music into my writing as well.
Silvio, you have to tell me if you got inspiration of the title from Kramer vs Kramer? It reminded me of the movie where Dustin Hoffman's character goes on an unexpected trial of fire to gain more self-awareness. Also the will power to just stay there and pull through. I can testify that showing up and always be there when things happen is 90% of the battle. I've never been an introspective person to begin with (but I'm always told that I have self-awarenes, so...I don't know ROFL), so I appreciate reading you and Rachael and other folks to get inner perspective. Another banger piece, needless to say!
This is powerful, Silvio. You managed to put into words a personal internal conversation that feels universal, yielding more refined thoughts for me.
Keep persevering on your writing, we're all the more complete and grateful for it!
This is right after listening (actually) this superb piece. So many things but this one is right on point: this afternoon I wss walking and listening to some music and skipping many tracks. Until The Boston Rag was spinning and I thought “Let me listening to it” and so it went. So, Steely Dan, please keep on telling me things I cannot confess to myself, about myself.
So fascinating, each and every time Silvio. Thank you.