Very interesting, Silvio. You're starting to remind me of Montaigne (I can't offer higher praise, at least yet).
I was fortunate when I was a teenager to have a family friend who had been an All-American basketballl player (he was of average height) write out in his own handwriting and give me this quote from the American President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
Also, William Burroughs obviously never read Ulysses by James Joyce, which is all about what Burroughs calls the "subvocal" stream of thought (or consciousness).
I have a feeling, though, that even if you had read the Coolidge quote at a tender age your life would have bloomed in essentially the same way. I think deep inside you are a disillusioned idealist--but an idealist first and foremost. And in this corrupt world of ours you would have repeatedly found no alternative consistent with your integrity but to walk away, as you did.
If you haven't read Melville's short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" you may want to have a look.
Thank you so much for your always thoughtful and challenging contribution, Chris! Coolidge nailed it: "nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent". But, as you say, you cannot change destiny and nature. You can acknowledge what you ended up being like, and learn from it. And maybe, even after learning, you'd continue as you've always been. Who the heck knows. I will definitely follow your recommendation and get Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener, thank you. :)
Hey Silvio, I have a musical discovery for you that with your discerning ear I’m sure you’ll appreciate.
The “female Dylan” comparison is inexact: in the first place, Connie can sing. Secondly, her average song is way better than Dylan’s average songs—she’s as good as Carole King and wipes the floor with Joan Baez. She’s a genius combo of Emily Dickinson and Taylor Swift—such a tragedy for all of us Connie Converse was ignored.
Thank you, Chris. I’m trying to remember when and where I heard of her before. As she does ring a bell. I will (re)check her out. In any event, “Female Dylan” would already be enough for me to instantly appreciate her! (Huge fan of the male Dylan here) :)
Me too--but as you'll see when you listen to her "album" (just raw takes) "So Sad, So Lovely" you'll see she's very special . . . her lyrics incredible
She reminds me of the early Dylan, when he too used to record raw takes. You're right, her lyrics are beautiful and interesting. I like her music! Thank for the recommendation :)
I love this piece so much, Silvio. I’ve bookmarked it so I can return to it when I need it again. It deeply resonated with me. Especially this part:
“Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons.”
Thank you, Rachael. :) We humans are unstable creatures. We spend our entire existence trying to even out that instability, without success. Maybe the essence of life is to learn to live with that instability. Who knows. We just have to accept whatever comes along and confront it, if necessary. Not because we want (or need) to win, but because we come out stronger, whatever the outcome.
“When I started writing regularly, things about myself that I ignored would appear on the page like invisible ink.” I recently told my brother that writing regularly is helping me process my feelings, which helps me see my life more clearly. I’m sitting with the Burroughs quote, too. Whew. In sharpening our senses and ourselves we certainly become wiser--but what to do with it, indeed.
Yes, and the "which helps me see my life more clearly" part is definitely the most important one. Isn't that a miracle? Thanks for your words, Dekera :)
"When I write, fear vanishes and I’m happy to accept a certain me that in other circumstances I’d run away from, or infinitely postpone confronting." This is so close to my experience, but I wouldn't say fear vanishes, but it recedes into its appropriate place, still fear, but no longer a looming monster, almost tamed in the presence of my witness. I always feel like readers are doing me a service of helping put all these fears in perspective, something about the generosity of others watching over my shoulder as I admit these fears and shortcomings helps to place them in the context of workable humanness instead of disabling anxiety or shame. The Burroughs quote is an absolute show stopper, and I'm with you on how anyone hearing those words could blithely carry on as though they hadn't been spoken.
Yours is an interesting remark, Rick. As always, your comments make me think. This is the beauty of this whole community we've build on here. Fear is something you don't get rid of, but learn to live with. And maybe the very fact that I feel it's gone when I'm writing speaks to a state of "cooperation with" rather than "defeat of" fear. Thank you my friend, for always being here :)
Gosh I like that a LOT. Cooperation with rather than defeat of fear. I am about to walk onstage at the Ritz Carlton hotel in Denver in an hour to give a keynote to a bunch of financial planners and I'll be talking about taking intelligent risks. I am literally going to share this phrasing. And damn yes, this is exactly the power of a collaboratively thoughtful community.
Silvio, first off I am always in wonder at your connection to music. I find myself longing for that kind of grounding in my own life, as Ive shed so many identities and personalities along the way.
"Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons."
I both loved this and think you're selling us short. Sure, the true test comes in darkness, but so does the awareness and celebration of beauty. I've read enough of your writing to see the flourishes of beauty that haven't come from having everything handed to you, but from holding yourself up to the darkness and declaring that you will not back down. Your story, for all the pain and harsh inner dialogue, is lovely in its humanity.
As woo as this sounds, meditation (in concert with a coach/partner/guide) has helped me to be a lot more supportive of my inner dialogue. By simply recognizing the space between my thoughts, I find that I have more clarity when my Self appears on the page. I never understood or enjoyed meditation before this, but much like writing, it's helping me to lead a more aligned life. Not that I recommend you try anything you're not ready to, but it's another data point in your tapestry of a beautiful life.
Latham! Thank you so much for this reflection. And for your nice words. I'm always grateful for being surrounded by sensitive people like yourself, who know how to read between the lines. I have meditated myself for years, before stopping abruptly a few years ago. I have to start again, as I feel I miss that moment of "space between my thoughts" (so beautifully put). I used to do Transcendental Meditation, and I have to say that it helped a lot. But then, persistence! :)
Friend, you speak to my condition! ❤️ I don't like mentioning my newsletter on other people's newsletters, but this so perfectly captures my ethos and what I'm trying to do...like, I think this self-confrontation is my superpower and I want to write about it and provide some kind of terrain map to make it less scary for other people, maybe.
It is such a pleasure to read something with this much resonance, I look forward to more!
Really love this! Restacked the section with the quote about "invisible ink." I also love that you ended with song lyrics. I just published my first post this week - and plan to incorporate a lot of my favorite music into my writing as well.
Thank you so much! Music is an important part of my journey. Someone once said that music is the sound of feelings. I remember when I read this for the first time it changed my perspective: feelings do have a sound. :)
Silvio, you have to tell me if you got inspiration of the title from Kramer vs Kramer? It reminded me of the movie where Dustin Hoffman's character goes on an unexpected trial of fire to gain more self-awareness. Also the will power to just stay there and pull through. I can testify that showing up and always be there when things happen is 90% of the battle. I've never been an introspective person to begin with (but I'm always told that I have self-awarenes, so...I don't know ROFL), so I appreciate reading you and Rachael and other folks to get inner perspective. Another banger piece, needless to say!
Thank you, Helen, for your nice words and for always supporting me. You're an invaluable member of this community that we've built here. I remember the Kramer vs Kramer movie very well, but no, I didn't really think of it when looking for a title. My friend Oscar (https://oscarobregon.substack.com) suggested this title to me. :)
This is right after listening (actually) this superb piece. So many things but this one is right on point: this afternoon I wss walking and listening to some music and skipping many tracks. Until The Boston Rag was spinning and I thought “Let me listening to it” and so it went. So, Steely Dan, please keep on telling me things I cannot confess to myself, about myself.
So fascinating, each and every time Silvio. Thank you.
Thank you, Martino. You're well aware of my appreciation for the Dan. And the Boston Rag is one of those pieces that make you stop and wonder what the heck was in the food and water between the mid sixties and the mid seventies to stimulate such a flood of musical innovation and creativity. On the broader theme of confronting ourselves about ourselves, the combination of writing and paying attention to good music's underlying messages has been life-changing for me. :)
Very interesting, Silvio. You're starting to remind me of Montaigne (I can't offer higher praise, at least yet).
I was fortunate when I was a teenager to have a family friend who had been an All-American basketballl player (he was of average height) write out in his own handwriting and give me this quote from the American President Calvin Coolidge: “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”
Also, William Burroughs obviously never read Ulysses by James Joyce, which is all about what Burroughs calls the "subvocal" stream of thought (or consciousness).
I have a feeling, though, that even if you had read the Coolidge quote at a tender age your life would have bloomed in essentially the same way. I think deep inside you are a disillusioned idealist--but an idealist first and foremost. And in this corrupt world of ours you would have repeatedly found no alternative consistent with your integrity but to walk away, as you did.
If you haven't read Melville's short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" you may want to have a look.
Very best, as always
Chris
Thank you so much for your always thoughtful and challenging contribution, Chris! Coolidge nailed it: "nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent". But, as you say, you cannot change destiny and nature. You can acknowledge what you ended up being like, and learn from it. And maybe, even after learning, you'd continue as you've always been. Who the heck knows. I will definitely follow your recommendation and get Melville's Bartleby the Scrivener, thank you. :)
Hey Silvio, I have a musical discovery for you that with your discerning ear I’m sure you’ll appreciate.
The “female Dylan” comparison is inexact: in the first place, Connie can sing. Secondly, her average song is way better than Dylan’s average songs—she’s as good as Carole King and wipes the floor with Joan Baez. She’s a genius combo of Emily Dickinson and Taylor Swift—such a tragedy for all of us Connie Converse was ignored.
Her “So sad, so lovely” album is genius.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/06/nyregion/connie-converse-nyc.html?referringSource=articleShare
Thank you, Chris. I’m trying to remember when and where I heard of her before. As she does ring a bell. I will (re)check her out. In any event, “Female Dylan” would already be enough for me to instantly appreciate her! (Huge fan of the male Dylan here) :)
Me too--but as you'll see when you listen to her "album" (just raw takes) "So Sad, So Lovely" you'll see she's very special . . . her lyrics incredible
She reminds me of the early Dylan, when he too used to record raw takes. You're right, her lyrics are beautiful and interesting. I like her music! Thank for the recommendation :)
I love this piece so much, Silvio. I’ve bookmarked it so I can return to it when I need it again. It deeply resonated with me. Especially this part:
“Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons.”
Thank you, Rachael. :) We humans are unstable creatures. We spend our entire existence trying to even out that instability, without success. Maybe the essence of life is to learn to live with that instability. Who knows. We just have to accept whatever comes along and confront it, if necessary. Not because we want (or need) to win, but because we come out stronger, whatever the outcome.
“When I started writing regularly, things about myself that I ignored would appear on the page like invisible ink.” I recently told my brother that writing regularly is helping me process my feelings, which helps me see my life more clearly. I’m sitting with the Burroughs quote, too. Whew. In sharpening our senses and ourselves we certainly become wiser--but what to do with it, indeed.
Yes, and the "which helps me see my life more clearly" part is definitely the most important one. Isn't that a miracle? Thanks for your words, Dekera :)
Beautiful essay. I can confirm that writing has been one of the most therapuetic exercises Ive done. Seems like its working its magic on you too :)
Indeed it is, Arman. Thank you! :)
"When I write, fear vanishes and I’m happy to accept a certain me that in other circumstances I’d run away from, or infinitely postpone confronting." This is so close to my experience, but I wouldn't say fear vanishes, but it recedes into its appropriate place, still fear, but no longer a looming monster, almost tamed in the presence of my witness. I always feel like readers are doing me a service of helping put all these fears in perspective, something about the generosity of others watching over my shoulder as I admit these fears and shortcomings helps to place them in the context of workable humanness instead of disabling anxiety or shame. The Burroughs quote is an absolute show stopper, and I'm with you on how anyone hearing those words could blithely carry on as though they hadn't been spoken.
Yours is an interesting remark, Rick. As always, your comments make me think. This is the beauty of this whole community we've build on here. Fear is something you don't get rid of, but learn to live with. And maybe the very fact that I feel it's gone when I'm writing speaks to a state of "cooperation with" rather than "defeat of" fear. Thank you my friend, for always being here :)
Gosh I like that a LOT. Cooperation with rather than defeat of fear. I am about to walk onstage at the Ritz Carlton hotel in Denver in an hour to give a keynote to a bunch of financial planners and I'll be talking about taking intelligent risks. I am literally going to share this phrasing. And damn yes, this is exactly the power of a collaboratively thoughtful community.
So happy it resonated. And honored you’ll use my humble words in your keynote! (Good luck with that btw) :)
Silvio, first off I am always in wonder at your connection to music. I find myself longing for that kind of grounding in my own life, as Ive shed so many identities and personalities along the way.
"Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. A process of continual discovery and self-exploration, one that requires time and effort and the willingness to face painful truths. But also humility and openness and courage. And persistence, because the strength we speak of is a fleeting one, as it’s easy to be introspective and self-critical when the going is good. The true test comes in dark times, when we’re forced to confront our demons."
I both loved this and think you're selling us short. Sure, the true test comes in darkness, but so does the awareness and celebration of beauty. I've read enough of your writing to see the flourishes of beauty that haven't come from having everything handed to you, but from holding yourself up to the darkness and declaring that you will not back down. Your story, for all the pain and harsh inner dialogue, is lovely in its humanity.
As woo as this sounds, meditation (in concert with a coach/partner/guide) has helped me to be a lot more supportive of my inner dialogue. By simply recognizing the space between my thoughts, I find that I have more clarity when my Self appears on the page. I never understood or enjoyed meditation before this, but much like writing, it's helping me to lead a more aligned life. Not that I recommend you try anything you're not ready to, but it's another data point in your tapestry of a beautiful life.
Latham! Thank you so much for this reflection. And for your nice words. I'm always grateful for being surrounded by sensitive people like yourself, who know how to read between the lines. I have meditated myself for years, before stopping abruptly a few years ago. I have to start again, as I feel I miss that moment of "space between my thoughts" (so beautifully put). I used to do Transcendental Meditation, and I have to say that it helped a lot. But then, persistence! :)
Friend, you speak to my condition! ❤️ I don't like mentioning my newsletter on other people's newsletters, but this so perfectly captures my ethos and what I'm trying to do...like, I think this self-confrontation is my superpower and I want to write about it and provide some kind of terrain map to make it less scary for other people, maybe.
It is such a pleasure to read something with this much resonance, I look forward to more!
Thank you, Alaina. Just checked out your substack, and subscribed. Very interesting. Glad my stuff resonates :)
Ohh, I'm humbled, thank you for the vote of support!
Really love this! Restacked the section with the quote about "invisible ink." I also love that you ended with song lyrics. I just published my first post this week - and plan to incorporate a lot of my favorite music into my writing as well.
Thank you so much! Music is an important part of my journey. Someone once said that music is the sound of feelings. I remember when I read this for the first time it changed my perspective: feelings do have a sound. :)
Love that! Music totally is the sound of feelings.
Silvio, you have to tell me if you got inspiration of the title from Kramer vs Kramer? It reminded me of the movie where Dustin Hoffman's character goes on an unexpected trial of fire to gain more self-awareness. Also the will power to just stay there and pull through. I can testify that showing up and always be there when things happen is 90% of the battle. I've never been an introspective person to begin with (but I'm always told that I have self-awarenes, so...I don't know ROFL), so I appreciate reading you and Rachael and other folks to get inner perspective. Another banger piece, needless to say!
Thank you, Helen, for your nice words and for always supporting me. You're an invaluable member of this community that we've built here. I remember the Kramer vs Kramer movie very well, but no, I didn't really think of it when looking for a title. My friend Oscar (https://oscarobregon.substack.com) suggested this title to me. :)
This is powerful, Silvio. You managed to put into words a personal internal conversation that feels universal, yielding more refined thoughts for me.
Keep persevering on your writing, we're all the more complete and grateful for it!
Thank you, Oscar! I will persevere on my writing, I promise :) You guys play a big role, as you know. I really appreciate your words, as always!
This is right after listening (actually) this superb piece. So many things but this one is right on point: this afternoon I wss walking and listening to some music and skipping many tracks. Until The Boston Rag was spinning and I thought “Let me listening to it” and so it went. So, Steely Dan, please keep on telling me things I cannot confess to myself, about myself.
So fascinating, each and every time Silvio. Thank you.
Thank you, Martino. You're well aware of my appreciation for the Dan. And the Boston Rag is one of those pieces that make you stop and wonder what the heck was in the food and water between the mid sixties and the mid seventies to stimulate such a flood of musical innovation and creativity. On the broader theme of confronting ourselves about ourselves, the combination of writing and paying attention to good music's underlying messages has been life-changing for me. :)
They deserve so many words. It’s probably the only group whose words I listen to very careful because they’re full of depths and hidden meanings.