The other day my mom asked me if I liked my name, or if I would have preferred to be named something else. This sent me on some interesting musings, and I landed somewhere similar than you: I wouldn't, I couldn't be named anything else. Great, more articulate musings from you. Thought that maybe your book could be on identity?
Coincidentally, I stayed in the Shinagawa area while in Tokyo, I didn't talk to any monkeys though
I know, right? It seems impossibile to imagine oneself with a different name. And, to me, it's not just the sound of it or the word itself. It's a whole unexplainable context that rotates around it and concerns a particular human. Thank you, Oscar. You're always so encouraging. A book on identity -- seen my way, of course -- may be an idea. Who knows. :)
About Shinagawa, you won't believe this, but the minute I published this piece I thought "I wonder whether this place is where Oscar stayed in Tokyo". LOL
I love all your writing but your ideas on identity always fascinate me the most. I’ve been thinking about keeping my identity small (or just putting small things in my identity box) ever since your essay.
I’ve seen in lived experience how people who identify with something become more fragile. “I’m a traveller and I’m worldly and love travel”. Or “I’m a health enthusiast and work out every day” or whatnot. And they have to fight to defend it. And some times they have to work to fill that identity they’ve created - often then doing things that aren’t natural or aligned.
And I think you’re spot on with labeling. The minute we label something, we no longer look at it. Think about it. We just put it in a box and assume it’s like all the other things in that box that we understand. A shortcut by our brains to deal with the complexity of the world but a dangerous one nonetheless.
In Awareness, de Mello wrote:
“The great Krishnamurti put it so well when he said, “The day you teach the child the name of the bird, the child will never see that bird again.” How true! The first time the child sees that fluffy, alive, moving object, and you say to him, Sparrow,” then tomorrow when the child sees another fluffy, moving object similar to it he says, “Oh, sparrows. I’ve seen sparrows. I’m bored by sparrows.”
If you don’t look at things through your concepts, you’ll never be bored. Every single thing is unique. Every sparrow is unlike every other sparrow despite the similarities.”
Apologies for the long comment. But beautiful piece :)
Absolutely, Tommy. I like what you wrote, about becoming more fragile the more we try to define ourselves. And I love the de Mello quote! Thank you! And please no apologies! You always wrote thoughtful comments and beautiful reflections!
I used to fill my identity with the tribes and the groups I wanted. It never felt quite enough to define myself as "a Navy Pilot, an American, intelligent, etc." but I didn't have the maturity to know what else to say. What's funny is the longer I told myself my job wasn't who I was, the more I lost what I was could possibly be.
Now I've settled in to simply accepting that "I am." My I amness allows me to see the world as I couldn't before. I am starting to realize how much our identity shapes what we believe is possible, even beyond what we'd normally think of. My identity as an intelligent young man shaped what I was willing to consider and believe about science, people, and life.
100%, Latham. I guess one has to go through phases to get to the realization that none of this really matters in the end. We are who we are, and if we don't know, that's fine! Not knowing and being open to change makes me feel alive and younger lol. Thank you so much for reading and your always profound reflections!
Must have been something in the air that we both wrote about names and identity this week.
One of the things I’ve come to love about living in the wilderness is the lack of tribalism. Which is strange to even write. But it’s true. No sports teams. People aren’t obsessed with their jobs as identity. Even Catholics and Protestants are close friends out here.
Something I’ll be further meditating on. Thank you Silvio as always.
The other day my mom asked me if I liked my name, or if I would have preferred to be named something else. This sent me on some interesting musings, and I landed somewhere similar than you: I wouldn't, I couldn't be named anything else. Great, more articulate musings from you. Thought that maybe your book could be on identity?
Coincidentally, I stayed in the Shinagawa area while in Tokyo, I didn't talk to any monkeys though
I know, right? It seems impossibile to imagine oneself with a different name. And, to me, it's not just the sound of it or the word itself. It's a whole unexplainable context that rotates around it and concerns a particular human. Thank you, Oscar. You're always so encouraging. A book on identity -- seen my way, of course -- may be an idea. Who knows. :)
About Shinagawa, you won't believe this, but the minute I published this piece I thought "I wonder whether this place is where Oscar stayed in Tokyo". LOL
Hahaha what a great coincidence! And I have a few other anecdotes related to Shinagawa I'll tell you about ;)
Regarding names, totally understand, some ineffable context around what makes you, you (or me, me), and that is very interesting indeed.
And excited for that book! You'd have at least one reader in me (though I suspect many more) :)
Haha you're too kind, Oscar. I'll take the road as it comes, as always! :)
This was beautiful Silvio.
I love all your writing but your ideas on identity always fascinate me the most. I’ve been thinking about keeping my identity small (or just putting small things in my identity box) ever since your essay.
I’ve seen in lived experience how people who identify with something become more fragile. “I’m a traveller and I’m worldly and love travel”. Or “I’m a health enthusiast and work out every day” or whatnot. And they have to fight to defend it. And some times they have to work to fill that identity they’ve created - often then doing things that aren’t natural or aligned.
And I think you’re spot on with labeling. The minute we label something, we no longer look at it. Think about it. We just put it in a box and assume it’s like all the other things in that box that we understand. A shortcut by our brains to deal with the complexity of the world but a dangerous one nonetheless.
In Awareness, de Mello wrote:
“The great Krishnamurti put it so well when he said, “The day you teach the child the name of the bird, the child will never see that bird again.” How true! The first time the child sees that fluffy, alive, moving object, and you say to him, Sparrow,” then tomorrow when the child sees another fluffy, moving object similar to it he says, “Oh, sparrows. I’ve seen sparrows. I’m bored by sparrows.”
If you don’t look at things through your concepts, you’ll never be bored. Every single thing is unique. Every sparrow is unlike every other sparrow despite the similarities.”
Apologies for the long comment. But beautiful piece :)
Absolutely, Tommy. I like what you wrote, about becoming more fragile the more we try to define ourselves. And I love the de Mello quote! Thank you! And please no apologies! You always wrote thoughtful comments and beautiful reflections!
You're always coming up with these great ideas, Silvio. I love the piece.
Thank you, Yehudis! Many of these ideas come from our sessions. :)
I used to fill my identity with the tribes and the groups I wanted. It never felt quite enough to define myself as "a Navy Pilot, an American, intelligent, etc." but I didn't have the maturity to know what else to say. What's funny is the longer I told myself my job wasn't who I was, the more I lost what I was could possibly be.
Now I've settled in to simply accepting that "I am." My I amness allows me to see the world as I couldn't before. I am starting to realize how much our identity shapes what we believe is possible, even beyond what we'd normally think of. My identity as an intelligent young man shaped what I was willing to consider and believe about science, people, and life.
Here's to reshaping our identities as an adult.
100%, Latham. I guess one has to go through phases to get to the realization that none of this really matters in the end. We are who we are, and if we don't know, that's fine! Not knowing and being open to change makes me feel alive and younger lol. Thank you so much for reading and your always profound reflections!
Must have been something in the air that we both wrote about names and identity this week.
One of the things I’ve come to love about living in the wilderness is the lack of tribalism. Which is strange to even write. But it’s true. No sports teams. People aren’t obsessed with their jobs as identity. Even Catholics and Protestants are close friends out here.
Something I’ll be further meditating on. Thank you Silvio as always.
I know, right? Something's definitely in the air :)
That sounds like heaven. I'll have to come visit one day and see it for myself!
Thank you, my friend, for always being here.
Jim Carrey took his comedy to a whole other level didn't he?
He sure did :)