This observation leapt out at me. "As if having all the knowledge in the world at our fingertips made us lose trust in our own judgment." At a gut level this strikes me as being very true. It actually makes me mad when I see myself doing this. Many times I have a strong feeling about a course of action, or even in writing, just a sense of rightness or confidence in what I want to say, and then I will start collecting opinions, looking up alternative perspectives, wondering if what I'm thinking is really valid or accurate or useful, and then go back and start fiddling with the original expression. I'm even torn on the process of getting feedback on essay drafts. It's impossible to dismiss its value. It always seems to genuinely improve my writing, but there is something going on subtly that akin to this loss of trust in my own judgment in favor of all the knowledge of others. Haven't honed in on the perfect balance yet. But I'm grateful you put this idea into words. There's something here for me to work with.
Rick! Thank you so much. As always, you chime in with powerful thoughts and real life examples. And you make me think. I guess it's ok to not have confidence, or complete confidence. Who does, after all? And you know that as we grow older confidence increasingly fails us and doubts come along and we're not so sure about anything anymore. At least that's what happens to me. But I'm reasonably sure that it happens to everyone who asks themselves questions, and I put you in that camp as well! The thing is, though, that we should probably learn to detach ourselves from all the inputs and opinions and stories that we are bombarded with every minute of every day. Easier said than done, granted. But that's essential, I think. I'm with you on feedback on writing, for example. It inevitably weakens that muscle. This is funny, I was talking about this with my writing group the other day. The theme was "how do we get better at writing?". A question that has no answer, if you ask me. Writing is no science, there's no secret formula that we don't know of, that we should instead apply to become like Hemingway. If that were true, it's be just a matter of developing that (scientific) knowledge and our writings would become all flawless, but all the same. There's so much beauty in imperfection. In uncertainty. In a "I don't know". I think that as long as you feel good with something, based on what your judgment tells you, that's where you should stop. And then of course I could tell you my opinion on giving writing feedback, which is probably too harsh to write here lol. :)
Man, how do you do it? I just love how you take us from New York and back to the crazy tipping in New York going through parenting and advice and just life in general haha beautiful!
I relate a lot to your story, I also grew up in a somewhat protective family and was given a lot of advice, and then when confronted with real life had a bit of trouble, but as you very well point out, it's a muscle that you eventually (are forced to) develop, and there it becomes empowering. I've always thought that I will try to teach my kids through example, rather than through words (or explicit advice). Which makes me think if it's a loop, that them by lacking this protection and advice will be overly protective and advice-givers with my grandchildren. Ha! We'll see.
Also, loved knowing you flew in the Concorde twice, that would probably make for good stories!
Oscar! Thank you so much, my friend. I don't know how I do it it just happens. As always, I didn't start writing this essay with the idea of advice and the judgment muscle. And then it sort of manifested! You know how it goes. I guess on the parenting and advice-giving, for me it turned out like that because I had an overly protective family, but probably if one is a careful and intelligent observer of the current times, they'd reach the same conclusion regardless of their family background. I seriously hope that your children will treasure the examples you'll give them by doing, not by (formally) teaching. You'll have to figure it out by yourself, which is always the best course of action (lol)! Thank you again for your support and kind words, as always. :)
You hit a trifecta of my interests: NYC, decision making and parenting. Another amazing essay, Silvio. I am so thrilled our paths crossed and that you share these considerations with the world.
Thank you so much, Karena! Likewise, I am indeed thrilled to that our paths crosses. And knowing you and your work, I know this piece of mine resonates with you. :)
Jul 6, 2023·edited Jul 6, 2023Liked by Silvio Castelletti
"Always leave a generous tip" will now replace "wear sunscreen" as the only advice anyone should seriously take. (I hope your son gets to reading this banger of an essay.) You're an iconic parent in my eyes - both as someone interested in parenting and as someone who was parented (like you) into a strange world of one size fits all recipes. I resonated so much on the moment of dawning that one's judgment isn't there to serve them. I had that too but it's a muscle I was fortunate to train over the years - and continue to find more confidence to engage and trust now. Thank you for writing this essay - and for reminding us it's ok to just talk to the kids about football.
Malavika! Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They mean a lot to me. An "iconic parent"! Wow. I made a lot of mistakes, you know. And I keep making them (hopefully new ones, not the same ones lol). But my resolution to not give any advice, to the extent possible, is indeed aimed at building in my children the awareness that it's ok to screw up, and that it's ok to take risks. They should know that fear, like risk, is there to stay, it won't disappear. And nobody will make them disappear for you! So why not learning to live with it? And so far (finger crossed) this approach has paid out. First hand experience, as risky and scary as it may be, won't be replaced by books and podcasts, ever.
So glad my story resonates with you, and that you can relate to it as you went down a similar path. How did it feel to realize that your judgment was non-existent? When I did, I thought the world was going to crash on me any minute. But then I found the courage to move on. Cause it takes courage. You know that!
And yes, it's totally ok to just talk to our kids about football! :)
In my world, it is quite rare to find parents who can say that with ease “I made a lot of mistakes ... and I keep making them!” Things are slowly changing, but as they say, the future is already here, just not for all of us.
For me, realising I didn’t have any discernment leave alone judgment muscles was like learning I have nothing left to lose. It can only get better from here. That was - I’d say - the beginning of my building up as an adult, the start of my own inner work.
I'm in flight, but you know my comment has “broken in pieces”.
You always run too far with thinking Silvio. Before the increase in speed, it would also be desirable that they find a way to reduce delays (now the excuse of refueling and so on is used).
Aahhh the judgment muscle. You hit the mark. As always you are able to open Pandora's box. Many, many things you can "move" in my case: said, done, lived. So maybe I'll go a little at random (perhaps as always on the other hand).
I admit that your incipit had already conquered me, regardless of what I would have read: New York is my weak point. But this is a detail, a nonsense, in fact my weak point.
At the airport I always stop at the "library", I really like it with all that routine of departures, I find it mentally stimulating. I always choose the book at first glance, I don't rely on reviews, hearsay and so on. Instinct pushes me to look at one, then the cover and the two preface lines; in short, a stroke of lightning. Most of the time I get on the plane disconsolate with empty hands, other times I was so enraptured that I started reading it without waiting. And yes I still read paper, I'm “retró”. Well in short, throwing a more careful eye here and there, I noticed that shelves overflowing with biographies of great men are in fashion lately. As if in there everyone could find the key to personal or business success, if you prefer.
But I am convinced it is not so. Every human being is unique, he has his own story, his own nature that leads him to make certain choices rather than others, to make them at a given moment rather than another and tac for some it works for others it doesn't, on the contrary. Everyone must find a key to himself, calibrated on his person; you have to accept that sometimes he can be found other times not (I'm among the latter eh). It is in my opinion a rarity, a blow to sit valá. And so you have to learn to live with it, I'm not talking about giving up, mind you. Simply always doing everything possible to find your own dimension: banging your snout, your legs, your heart, so on and so forth. And this constant proving that can get you from point A to any other point, if zigzagging is okay too. It will take more effort, even more time. Yes, I admit that perhaps even contradicting myself I often found myself asking for advice, seeking guidance as you say. Not in a podcast, but it happened to me too wanting to find someone to tell me what was the right way to live, to be successful. More than anything else maybe someone who "read" me to understand what I could achieve, see a talent of mine that I can't find, forgetting that even understanding each other is a long process. It's probably a step, but then you should realize that if you don't take the plunge yourself, you'll never know. It's difficult eh, it's not such an immediate and natural thing.
A path. Or maybe that's how it is for me.
As an only child, it goes without saying that she grew up in a protective family. But unfortunately, or fortunately, I've always been a rebel. I was looking for advice but then I always found myself feeling like I wanted to do the opposite.
But I think I've always been a responsible rebel, as far as possible. I always received indications on what I should do, how to move. It's a delicate aspect indeed. Because I have to admit that sometimes it helped me, and I even think I was grateful for it, I also customized it.
I think that another aspect depends a lot on the way in which one does it, it's your character then that makes you activate and then leave the muscle of judgment active or you learn that it exists and how to use it, going through catastrophic attempts obviously, because at first you don't know you have it and/or how exactly to apply it.
My father was able to give me some advice, which I unconsciously have to say "I carry with me", based on his experiences, but never imposing (considering my tendency to shy away from the mold). In the short term they were disregarded by me most of the time, they helped me anyway. Sometimes I also needed help. You reminded me of my first time in New York alone for summer school. I didn't get accompanied. Mine was categorical. He agreed, mom less… he insisted on giving me the numbers of someone who lived in NYC if I had any problems. Well I admit that that time I did that number, due to mistakes they wouldn't let me stay in New Haven and I had to find temporary accommodation. Maybe it's about giving the LA, the tools to be able to face everything (why not, if you have the possibility even in an easier way; objectively I could have sat there on the steps of the Yale entrance and waited for the next day).
When she was younger, however, she had told me about her first tip in America, at a restaurant: he hadn't left anything, not even the obligatory 15% on the check, the waiter had chased him out.
As soon as I arrived, in my first New York taxi ride, I treasured it.
Moral of the story is that I accepted or rather, I'm still trying to accept totally my nature, at the same time I have internalized the advice, I have elaborated and adapted it to me at times, others not followed at all and understood that in the end I follow what I feel, even if up to now 70% of the times it has been wrong. But that's okay. At least I can say that they are and have been my choices, I have to deal only with myself. And I like it that way.
Maybe I went "off topic", as they used to say at school but here... everything felt, everything sprung from your words here.
Mari! Where to begin. First of all, thanks for sharing your perspective and your personal stories. I really appreciate it. And I enjoy reading personal stuff. Personal and vulnerable are two interest-grabbing elements of writing that always catch my attention at once. And I'm glad this whole piece resonates with you. Now, I should say that some advice is helpful, sometimes. I'm not so radical to shun advice entirely without even hearing it first or thinking about what its real purpose may be. Today, advice is a commodity that leads most people to switch off their brain, relax, get on autopilot mode, and put themselves and their lives in the hands of others. What I generally despise is this rat race to an ephemeral form of success, one pursued by proxy, through the routines and experiences and wounds of others. It doesn't work. It cannot work. If it did, the only way to distinguish ourselves would be striving to NOT be successful lol. But that muscle needs training. And you're someone who knows a thing or two about training, right? This piece is closely tied to my next one, which you should go read. Accepting one's nature is fundamental once one has discovered what their true nature is. But I'm digressing a little, and maybe spoiling lol. Anyways, thank you for contributing with your rich and interesting comment to my piece. I'm still waiting for you to start publishing, so that I can reciprocate! :)
Another fantastic essay Silvio. I love how your voice is shining through more and more (it feels like) with every piece you share.
I completely agree with your conclusions on counsel. It seems to stem from an addiction to speed. Our society increasingly revolves at a faster and faster rate. Hacks accelerate progress, mistakes slow you down. With technology we have transparency on the successes of others, who we try to chase and catch rather than inhabit our own unique timeline. The advice industry trained me to believe the answers I needed were outside myself.
One common thread I’ve noticed across both wise thinkers, both ancient and modern, is how heavily they cautioned against advice.
Thank you so much, Tommy. Your words are much appreciated. "One common thread I’ve noticed across both wise thinkers, both ancient and modern, is how heavily they cautioned against advice." -- yes, that's what I've noticed too. But, alas, it's the publishing industry in the middle that messes things up, unfortunately. :)
Jul 6, 2023·edited Jul 6, 2023Liked by Silvio Castelletti
I can't leave a generous tip in NY anymore. They add all sorts of weird charges (tech charge I saw once) and expect 30% tip in restaurants. 18%-20% is now stingy. Things are getting out of hand. But yeah. Tip is a required custom on the west side of the atlantic pond...
we must think in a similar wavelength Silvio. My next piece is about living in Seoul, and the machine like thought mode and mimicking of others that makes up the culture of Korea. It drives me crazy, and so do the "how-to" books like you say. We are all like items being scanned at the supermarket counters.
The concerns you raise here are genuinely serious concerns. What's the antidote?
Hey Jisoo, thanks for commenting. The antidote? No idea. I guess it might be building an awareness that this is not a rat race, and it takes the time that it takes to come up with something that would make you proud (I won't use the word successful, as it implies money). Everyone of us is different. I know, this is so trite. But it's the reality. And unless we want to end up a society of automatons that apply the same ready-to-use recipes (which, by definition, will become useless because applied by everybody), we should wake up to this idea. It's up to each of us. The Self-Help multibillion industry will always be there, and it will grow larger. So I guess we should find the strength to call ourselves out of the race and think with our own heads. There's nothing wrong with reading success stories (I love biographies, for instance), but one thing is to do it with admiration and genuine curiosity, another is doing it with the obsession to find the "secret formula".
So, I don't know. But it's getting weirder by the minute.
This observation leapt out at me. "As if having all the knowledge in the world at our fingertips made us lose trust in our own judgment." At a gut level this strikes me as being very true. It actually makes me mad when I see myself doing this. Many times I have a strong feeling about a course of action, or even in writing, just a sense of rightness or confidence in what I want to say, and then I will start collecting opinions, looking up alternative perspectives, wondering if what I'm thinking is really valid or accurate or useful, and then go back and start fiddling with the original expression. I'm even torn on the process of getting feedback on essay drafts. It's impossible to dismiss its value. It always seems to genuinely improve my writing, but there is something going on subtly that akin to this loss of trust in my own judgment in favor of all the knowledge of others. Haven't honed in on the perfect balance yet. But I'm grateful you put this idea into words. There's something here for me to work with.
Rick! Thank you so much. As always, you chime in with powerful thoughts and real life examples. And you make me think. I guess it's ok to not have confidence, or complete confidence. Who does, after all? And you know that as we grow older confidence increasingly fails us and doubts come along and we're not so sure about anything anymore. At least that's what happens to me. But I'm reasonably sure that it happens to everyone who asks themselves questions, and I put you in that camp as well! The thing is, though, that we should probably learn to detach ourselves from all the inputs and opinions and stories that we are bombarded with every minute of every day. Easier said than done, granted. But that's essential, I think. I'm with you on feedback on writing, for example. It inevitably weakens that muscle. This is funny, I was talking about this with my writing group the other day. The theme was "how do we get better at writing?". A question that has no answer, if you ask me. Writing is no science, there's no secret formula that we don't know of, that we should instead apply to become like Hemingway. If that were true, it's be just a matter of developing that (scientific) knowledge and our writings would become all flawless, but all the same. There's so much beauty in imperfection. In uncertainty. In a "I don't know". I think that as long as you feel good with something, based on what your judgment tells you, that's where you should stop. And then of course I could tell you my opinion on giving writing feedback, which is probably too harsh to write here lol. :)
Hmmm, too harsh eh? I can only hope whatever this opinion is that it's going to work its way out into an eventual article.
You just gave me a great idea :)
Man, how do you do it? I just love how you take us from New York and back to the crazy tipping in New York going through parenting and advice and just life in general haha beautiful!
I relate a lot to your story, I also grew up in a somewhat protective family and was given a lot of advice, and then when confronted with real life had a bit of trouble, but as you very well point out, it's a muscle that you eventually (are forced to) develop, and there it becomes empowering. I've always thought that I will try to teach my kids through example, rather than through words (or explicit advice). Which makes me think if it's a loop, that them by lacking this protection and advice will be overly protective and advice-givers with my grandchildren. Ha! We'll see.
Also, loved knowing you flew in the Concorde twice, that would probably make for good stories!
Another gem, Silvio.
Oscar! Thank you so much, my friend. I don't know how I do it it just happens. As always, I didn't start writing this essay with the idea of advice and the judgment muscle. And then it sort of manifested! You know how it goes. I guess on the parenting and advice-giving, for me it turned out like that because I had an overly protective family, but probably if one is a careful and intelligent observer of the current times, they'd reach the same conclusion regardless of their family background. I seriously hope that your children will treasure the examples you'll give them by doing, not by (formally) teaching. You'll have to figure it out by yourself, which is always the best course of action (lol)! Thank you again for your support and kind words, as always. :)
You hit a trifecta of my interests: NYC, decision making and parenting. Another amazing essay, Silvio. I am so thrilled our paths crossed and that you share these considerations with the world.
And +1 Malavika comment.
Thank you so much, Karena! Likewise, I am indeed thrilled to that our paths crosses. And knowing you and your work, I know this piece of mine resonates with you. :)
"Always leave a generous tip" will now replace "wear sunscreen" as the only advice anyone should seriously take. (I hope your son gets to reading this banger of an essay.) You're an iconic parent in my eyes - both as someone interested in parenting and as someone who was parented (like you) into a strange world of one size fits all recipes. I resonated so much on the moment of dawning that one's judgment isn't there to serve them. I had that too but it's a muscle I was fortunate to train over the years - and continue to find more confidence to engage and trust now. Thank you for writing this essay - and for reminding us it's ok to just talk to the kids about football.
Malavika! Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They mean a lot to me. An "iconic parent"! Wow. I made a lot of mistakes, you know. And I keep making them (hopefully new ones, not the same ones lol). But my resolution to not give any advice, to the extent possible, is indeed aimed at building in my children the awareness that it's ok to screw up, and that it's ok to take risks. They should know that fear, like risk, is there to stay, it won't disappear. And nobody will make them disappear for you! So why not learning to live with it? And so far (finger crossed) this approach has paid out. First hand experience, as risky and scary as it may be, won't be replaced by books and podcasts, ever.
So glad my story resonates with you, and that you can relate to it as you went down a similar path. How did it feel to realize that your judgment was non-existent? When I did, I thought the world was going to crash on me any minute. But then I found the courage to move on. Cause it takes courage. You know that!
And yes, it's totally ok to just talk to our kids about football! :)
In my world, it is quite rare to find parents who can say that with ease “I made a lot of mistakes ... and I keep making them!” Things are slowly changing, but as they say, the future is already here, just not for all of us.
For me, realising I didn’t have any discernment leave alone judgment muscles was like learning I have nothing left to lose. It can only get better from here. That was - I’d say - the beginning of my building up as an adult, the start of my own inner work.
I can totally relate. Thank you for these words! :)
Too bad you’re turning around so quickly, Silvio. I’m an hour and a half from the middle of Manhattan and you’d be very welcome to stay!
Thank you, Chris. Much appreciated. But I had to do everything in 48hrs. Next time around I'd love to meet up. :)
I'm in flight, but you know my comment has “broken in pieces”.
You always run too far with thinking Silvio. Before the increase in speed, it would also be desirable that they find a way to reduce delays (now the excuse of refueling and so on is used).
Aahhh the judgment muscle. You hit the mark. As always you are able to open Pandora's box. Many, many things you can "move" in my case: said, done, lived. So maybe I'll go a little at random (perhaps as always on the other hand).
I admit that your incipit had already conquered me, regardless of what I would have read: New York is my weak point. But this is a detail, a nonsense, in fact my weak point.
At the airport I always stop at the "library", I really like it with all that routine of departures, I find it mentally stimulating. I always choose the book at first glance, I don't rely on reviews, hearsay and so on. Instinct pushes me to look at one, then the cover and the two preface lines; in short, a stroke of lightning. Most of the time I get on the plane disconsolate with empty hands, other times I was so enraptured that I started reading it without waiting. And yes I still read paper, I'm “retró”. Well in short, throwing a more careful eye here and there, I noticed that shelves overflowing with biographies of great men are in fashion lately. As if in there everyone could find the key to personal or business success, if you prefer.
But I am convinced it is not so. Every human being is unique, he has his own story, his own nature that leads him to make certain choices rather than others, to make them at a given moment rather than another and tac for some it works for others it doesn't, on the contrary. Everyone must find a key to himself, calibrated on his person; you have to accept that sometimes he can be found other times not (I'm among the latter eh). It is in my opinion a rarity, a blow to sit valá. And so you have to learn to live with it, I'm not talking about giving up, mind you. Simply always doing everything possible to find your own dimension: banging your snout, your legs, your heart, so on and so forth. And this constant proving that can get you from point A to any other point, if zigzagging is okay too. It will take more effort, even more time. Yes, I admit that perhaps even contradicting myself I often found myself asking for advice, seeking guidance as you say. Not in a podcast, but it happened to me too wanting to find someone to tell me what was the right way to live, to be successful. More than anything else maybe someone who "read" me to understand what I could achieve, see a talent of mine that I can't find, forgetting that even understanding each other is a long process. It's probably a step, but then you should realize that if you don't take the plunge yourself, you'll never know. It's difficult eh, it's not such an immediate and natural thing.
A path. Or maybe that's how it is for me.
As an only child, it goes without saying that she grew up in a protective family. But unfortunately, or fortunately, I've always been a rebel. I was looking for advice but then I always found myself feeling like I wanted to do the opposite.
But I think I've always been a responsible rebel, as far as possible. I always received indications on what I should do, how to move. It's a delicate aspect indeed. Because I have to admit that sometimes it helped me, and I even think I was grateful for it, I also customized it.
I think that another aspect depends a lot on the way in which one does it, it's your character then that makes you activate and then leave the muscle of judgment active or you learn that it exists and how to use it, going through catastrophic attempts obviously, because at first you don't know you have it and/or how exactly to apply it.
My father was able to give me some advice, which I unconsciously have to say "I carry with me", based on his experiences, but never imposing (considering my tendency to shy away from the mold). In the short term they were disregarded by me most of the time, they helped me anyway. Sometimes I also needed help. You reminded me of my first time in New York alone for summer school. I didn't get accompanied. Mine was categorical. He agreed, mom less… he insisted on giving me the numbers of someone who lived in NYC if I had any problems. Well I admit that that time I did that number, due to mistakes they wouldn't let me stay in New Haven and I had to find temporary accommodation. Maybe it's about giving the LA, the tools to be able to face everything (why not, if you have the possibility even in an easier way; objectively I could have sat there on the steps of the Yale entrance and waited for the next day).
When she was younger, however, she had told me about her first tip in America, at a restaurant: he hadn't left anything, not even the obligatory 15% on the check, the waiter had chased him out.
As soon as I arrived, in my first New York taxi ride, I treasured it.
Moral of the story is that I accepted or rather, I'm still trying to accept totally my nature, at the same time I have internalized the advice, I have elaborated and adapted it to me at times, others not followed at all and understood that in the end I follow what I feel, even if up to now 70% of the times it has been wrong. But that's okay. At least I can say that they are and have been my choices, I have to deal only with myself. And I like it that way.
Maybe I went "off topic", as they used to say at school but here... everything felt, everything sprung from your words here.
Mari! Where to begin. First of all, thanks for sharing your perspective and your personal stories. I really appreciate it. And I enjoy reading personal stuff. Personal and vulnerable are two interest-grabbing elements of writing that always catch my attention at once. And I'm glad this whole piece resonates with you. Now, I should say that some advice is helpful, sometimes. I'm not so radical to shun advice entirely without even hearing it first or thinking about what its real purpose may be. Today, advice is a commodity that leads most people to switch off their brain, relax, get on autopilot mode, and put themselves and their lives in the hands of others. What I generally despise is this rat race to an ephemeral form of success, one pursued by proxy, through the routines and experiences and wounds of others. It doesn't work. It cannot work. If it did, the only way to distinguish ourselves would be striving to NOT be successful lol. But that muscle needs training. And you're someone who knows a thing or two about training, right? This piece is closely tied to my next one, which you should go read. Accepting one's nature is fundamental once one has discovered what their true nature is. But I'm digressing a little, and maybe spoiling lol. Anyways, thank you for contributing with your rich and interesting comment to my piece. I'm still waiting for you to start publishing, so that I can reciprocate! :)
Another fantastic essay Silvio. I love how your voice is shining through more and more (it feels like) with every piece you share.
I completely agree with your conclusions on counsel. It seems to stem from an addiction to speed. Our society increasingly revolves at a faster and faster rate. Hacks accelerate progress, mistakes slow you down. With technology we have transparency on the successes of others, who we try to chase and catch rather than inhabit our own unique timeline. The advice industry trained me to believe the answers I needed were outside myself.
One common thread I’ve noticed across both wise thinkers, both ancient and modern, is how heavily they cautioned against advice.
Lovely piece :)
Thank you so much, Tommy. Your words are much appreciated. "One common thread I’ve noticed across both wise thinkers, both ancient and modern, is how heavily they cautioned against advice." -- yes, that's what I've noticed too. But, alas, it's the publishing industry in the middle that messes things up, unfortunately. :)
I can't leave a generous tip in NY anymore. They add all sorts of weird charges (tech charge I saw once) and expect 30% tip in restaurants. 18%-20% is now stingy. Things are getting out of hand. But yeah. Tip is a required custom on the west side of the atlantic pond...
we must think in a similar wavelength Silvio. My next piece is about living in Seoul, and the machine like thought mode and mimicking of others that makes up the culture of Korea. It drives me crazy, and so do the "how-to" books like you say. We are all like items being scanned at the supermarket counters.
The concerns you raise here are genuinely serious concerns. What's the antidote?
Have a good time in NYC!!
Hey Jisoo, thanks for commenting. The antidote? No idea. I guess it might be building an awareness that this is not a rat race, and it takes the time that it takes to come up with something that would make you proud (I won't use the word successful, as it implies money). Everyone of us is different. I know, this is so trite. But it's the reality. And unless we want to end up a society of automatons that apply the same ready-to-use recipes (which, by definition, will become useless because applied by everybody), we should wake up to this idea. It's up to each of us. The Self-Help multibillion industry will always be there, and it will grow larger. So I guess we should find the strength to call ourselves out of the race and think with our own heads. There's nothing wrong with reading success stories (I love biographies, for instance), but one thing is to do it with admiration and genuine curiosity, another is doing it with the obsession to find the "secret formula".
So, I don't know. But it's getting weirder by the minute.